How to beat the disabled.

Any photo I’ve taken this week is here. Click.
Speaking of which, this is my favourite photo. Oh and the one above, obviously.

Today’s choice quote comes from the sum of Elizabeth Cahill’s (formerly known as Lil until facebook rightfully put her in her place – hah) frustration against the disabled population of Denmark. Well that’s a kind of lie, more of her frustration – and the rest of the groups, might I add – against these scumbag chavs, the mouthiest of which was a girl without one wrist. Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more irritating bunch of chavs, and I live in Partington for fucks sake. More on what they did to cause our irritation later anyway…

It’s probably been a bit too long since I wrote anything, and what I did write was entirely under the influence of Bolognese pizza. That was a good day. I’ve probably had quite a few better days since then. I think I was about to write a massive rant at something but I’ve had that many continuously good days that the urge to rant disappeared, and I completely forgot about it. Was probably something naff about the price of something anyway.

So whilst you guys have been revising
(Or setting fire to my college!?!?)
I have…

Well I went on a field trip. Like a real old-school style field trip to a historic town. I haven’t been on one of those since… I went to Paris in sixth form and fell ridiculously ill so couldn’t see anything I was supposed to. So I can’t actually remember my last field trip. Excited like a little girl, I made a packed lunch – and headed out to Roskilde (which for the curious consisted of cheese and ketchup sandwiches). Ketchup is fit you see, don’t knock it. We visited a historic cathedral (burial chamber for old monarchs…) and real, live, Viking ships. It was pretty cool, also learnt a bit about Danish food, and that apparently I should eat Sild. Which is pickled fish, forgot which one exactly, but it looks pretty grim in the shops… but when in Rome eh?

I also found out how to make toast here… by frying bread. Can make a tasty toastie by frying a cheese sandwich. No oil. Try it.

Anyway, the coolness of this place just continues. We went to a film screening at the Copenhagen Film Festival, to see ‘Adam Resurrected‘ which was a really thought provoking film. It’s a completely fictional film about the rehab of holocaust survivors, but really it’s much more than that, and if it ever gets a general release, or when the DVD comes out I’d urge everyone to try and get a copy of it. Even better was the fact that the film was introduced and closed by the director himself who came to talk to us, and he also took a Q&A at the end. I kind of wish I asked him a question now, but the whole, massive crowd, intelligent people thing put me off asking something, in the small case I looked like a complete idiot.

What was even better, and completely random was the free Jameson and Cranberry or Apple Juice. I’m taking a stab in the dark and guessing it was because the director was here, but anyone was allowed to take some. Or four in my case, five in Will and Alex’s case. It probably helped me relax a bit, and I certainly wasn’t drunk in the cinema, but it was a nice treat… and helped soften the 75kr hurt that the screening cost me. And note to self here, just because a random lady claims she can eat a large tub of popcorn alone, doesn’t mean you can. It was HUGE, and yes me and Will thought we could at least tackle it together, it took us till we boarded the facebus to be anywhere near finished.

Ah yes, the facebus.

We were walking home from the film festival, cursing the amount of popcorn we still had… and stumbled upon a big London bus with facebus splattered across the side. Since Denmark has the highest percentage of its population on facebook (in the high thirties, if I remember correctly) I can’t really say it surprised me either. Inspired by Alex’s “say yes to everything” mantra, we went closer to investigate. A seriously drunk teen came up to us and tried to coax us onto this bus, and with a bunch of drunken youth around it… it wasn’t exactly looking like a safe option, but we went on anyway. Everyone cheered. Scary. So we get on and there is this guy on a laptop with what looks like a mind control device (which later turns out to be a microphone). He asks us a few questions about getting into Danish clubs, and social exclusion, as that’s what his study is on. No idea where it’ll be published but whatever. Then he asked us to update our status, facebook style, into the microphone.

“Alexander is happy he went to the film festival tonight”

Indeed he was. This whole scenario was quite bizarre, and then he was overlaying some odd music on top of our interview and updates on his computer, we had a small listen and it wasn’t bad. Just very odd. But it was a laugh and I suppose I love all these random things that seem to happen here.

Say yes to everything.

We also went to “the worlds oldest theme park” in Bakken. I did think that was a complete lie but I checked on Wikipedia, so obviously it’s true. Or something like that. It was actually quite the nice place, surrounded by lots of nice countryside and woodland. And DEER. I don’t think I’ve ever seen people so transfixed by animals but here it was. To be fair if I could get close I’d be just as bad. We spent far too long inside, from around 1-11 and it was Lil’s first go on a rollercoaster so she was wayyy excited. It was a laugh, that’s a definate, but the park is not for coaster junkies. It is tame. Though there is the best coaster which we nicknamed ‘woodie’ due to its completely wooden build which was not tame in the fact that you completely soiled yourself every time it jumped. Yeah this coaster jumped. How unafe is that?! I nearly smashed my face against the front of the coaster because of that, yet it didn’t stop me going on around 5 times heh. It is a prety fun place though, the woodland surrounding it is beautiful and i’d reccomend going just because you can chill out there if the tame rides get a bit extreme for you.

And I am going Legoland, tomorrow. As in Sunday depending on when you read this.
It has lots of lego, and apparently you can get a driving license and you can’t believe how excited I am. Yes, like most kids I had oodles of lego, but I’ve never been to Windsor!!! Bad times, evidently.

Pretty epic week all in all.
And oh yeah, I saw a small dog declare war on a swan. Then it pussied off and ran away.

Trying to think if I missed anything out… football on yet more beautiful parks, where the swan and the dog happened to be actually. And dreaming of a BBQ. This will happen. And we won’t be setting any bins on fire either, come on man how can you be that stupid. I’m rambling now yes, but I’ve just remembered where the title of this post came from. It was at this theme park, and we were on a ride which we’d labelled “Essential Mix” simply because it was playing as we got on the ride, it must have been the 5th time we’d been on the ride that day, keanos indeed… Anyway, out of nowhere this girl jumps over the barrier and into the ride, and sits down. Full view of the operated who comes over and tells them to get out. Repeatedly.

The fuckers stay in the ride.

I seriously hate people that do this, and I guess I can’t really complain – it is a Friday night at a carnival type theme park after all. But honestly. Do these sort of people have to exist? Can we not just give them a swift beat down, or as my friend Smirk once put, form a chav police, where they would shoot them on site? The ringleader happened to have one arm, and a small debate followed over whether we could be so mean about them all.

Then Elizabeth proceeded to give details on what to do about them. Hence the title of this post.

Ciao ciao.

UPDATE: Hah I missed my trip to legoland. 600kr down the drain.
“Gutted,” somehow doesn’t quite describe the feeling.